"If it is to be, it is up to me..."
Yes, I am back.
And I will make a conscious effort to stay positive! Hahaha!!!
I have been described in many ways - most recently as I enter into the "Prime of My Life", the most often heard were that I am multi-talented, wittingly-intelligent, highly-capable, infamously-confident, and the usual of late; that I am blessed with a set of charismatic leadership skills.
Let me assure you - if they are valid description of me - that all these are not without the normal notoriety... ;)
But let's be honest, modesty is definitely NOT one of them! :D
These past months (in fact, years) of my career at the "Safari", I have often been imprisoned by my own intellect.
I felt that my bosses do not know how to appreciate the package in which I come.
It seemed that they are so dumb, that they did not know how to position me for maximum potential.
I strongly felt that I was undermined & under-utilized.
I began to think that they do not respect my decisions & will never be contend with my contribution and thus, I will never get what I want.
I was rebellious, I complained, I made sure people in the workplace heard my complaints, I went to the extend of almost being labelled "anti-organization", short of only being sidelined even for a staff of my post with managerial authority.
Then somehow, the fact of the matter sunk into me.
Suddenly I started realizing with a lot of shock: It was not so much as to my bosses being unappreciative of what I am or what I could achieve.
It was me all along, I have failed to use all the strength I possessed to come out with the best results.
I have overlooked my own potential & did not put in the right amount of positivity to maximize on my best qualities to give what my bosses had expected of me.
What a shoe in the head!
A couple of weeks back, I made a decision.
That I shall from now on, put these God-given qualities to good use.
Even in the "Safari", even if my days here are numbered, I would want to be remembered with all the adjectives which preceded all these paragraphs of this entry.
My only hope is that it is not too late.
But then again, even if it is, I would know that the Stephen Fah who was meant to be is still around.
As we enter into the Anniversary of the Nation's Independence, I wish that all efforts, minds & souls be liberated as well.
So, stay positive & Go For It!
I'll see you at the TOP!
Happy Merdeka, folks.
Stay out of trouble :)
Monday, August 30, 2010
Wednesday, March 24, 2010
Thursday, October 22, 2009
Complicated Mind...
"How easy it would be if we could just simplify the mind of a complicated person..."
These week has been very eventful.
In fact, it’s been one of the most colourful moments I’ve had in a long time.
But as faced-paced as it may have seemed to be, there were of course a few important moments which I seriously feel would make a difference.
It’s been a moment of discovery.
For the answers which I have been searching for, of course, not all are fruitful as I have intended.
But in the process of asking the questions, I have learned that not all of them needed to be answered.
And in the end, I realised that the facts have been laid out in front of my very own eyes all these while.
It’s also a moment of comfort.
For the feeling of being insecure are addressed somehow, that it was really unwarranted & things should be taken a step at a time.
But unless issues are ironed out & words are traded, there will never be an avenue for an understanding.
And I realised, that no matter how many times certain words could be repeated, they would still not mean a thing if they don’t come from the heart.
It’s a moment of recognition, nonetheless.
For out of the many automobile car clubs, the Sakura Stallionz were invited to one of the biggest gathering of motoring enthusiasts which provided the platform for the team to grow.
But still, as usual, things did not always happen as we have expected them to, resulting in certain levels of frustrations no thanks to the inability to meet certain objectives.
And then it occurs to me that perhaps, the only way to truly enjoy the limelight as a leader of the team & to ensure the sentiments of the members are contained, I would have to forgo my perception of perfection & allow the remnants of the events to be as memorable as possible.
It’s a moment of deliverance as well.
For it has been some time since I last walked a whole complex on my own & I must admit, it really feels liberating as for once, I did not have to look left or right or ask if there’s anything else we may have left out. Not to say I don’t enjoy doing these, but just to strengthen the conviction that there is just enough company when you’re alone.
But then, barely half a movie into the 2-movie marathon, my thoughts were automatically transported away, bits by bits, pieces by pieces just as how the plot of the movie gets thicker.
And I end up not being able to stop myself from actually buying stuff for her instead of my earier intention to pamper myself through retail therapy.
It’s a moment of unlimited connectivity.
For the Batcave is finally broadband-ready, many thanks to Robyn who, in the first place; took the set of internet connection application form from the management office, sent an enquiry email to the service providing company for them to contact me, inspired me to finally fill out the form, waited with me while the bunch of installation contractors were doing their work at the Batcave, purchased a wifi router at an exceptionally good price & even assigned the very best IT Whiz-kid on the block to come over to the Batcave just moments before midnight to configure the wifi settings so that I could go online that night itself.
But I have had my doubts, for despite the "freedom of connection", I was worried that "physical time" would be lost.
And I had to ask the stupid question, if that would happen.
Of course, I wouldn’t say I know what sort of reply to expect or whether I liked what I heard, but somehow; I guess I should have known better that the answer would have been just that.
It’s also been a moment of reflection.
For out of my mom’s 5 brothers, 4 have had one form of experience with cardiovascular disease, the latest being our Uncle James who is now recuperating in ICU from a triple-bypass performed on him yesterday. His 2 younger brothers did not enjoy his fortune, they checked out when anybody could find out that they had such a problem.
But until we change the way we live or we manage to convince our mothers (who cook for us most of the time) that that extra spoonful of lard would only make our lives more miserable while only entertaining our tongues, we would only be blaming genetics.
And it may have been too late to do anything by then because there would not have been a point to achieve anything at that time as well.
Rest well, Uncle James. Get well soon.
We have many things to catch up on, because it’s been a while since we’ve last met.
Well, there you have it.
It really is simple to find out what would be considered important in my complicated mind.
Easy, isn’t it?
These week has been very eventful.
In fact, it’s been one of the most colourful moments I’ve had in a long time.
But as faced-paced as it may have seemed to be, there were of course a few important moments which I seriously feel would make a difference.
It’s been a moment of discovery.
For the answers which I have been searching for, of course, not all are fruitful as I have intended.
But in the process of asking the questions, I have learned that not all of them needed to be answered.
And in the end, I realised that the facts have been laid out in front of my very own eyes all these while.
It’s also a moment of comfort.
For the feeling of being insecure are addressed somehow, that it was really unwarranted & things should be taken a step at a time.
But unless issues are ironed out & words are traded, there will never be an avenue for an understanding.
And I realised, that no matter how many times certain words could be repeated, they would still not mean a thing if they don’t come from the heart.
It’s a moment of recognition, nonetheless.
For out of the many automobile car clubs, the Sakura Stallionz were invited to one of the biggest gathering of motoring enthusiasts which provided the platform for the team to grow.
But still, as usual, things did not always happen as we have expected them to, resulting in certain levels of frustrations no thanks to the inability to meet certain objectives.
And then it occurs to me that perhaps, the only way to truly enjoy the limelight as a leader of the team & to ensure the sentiments of the members are contained, I would have to forgo my perception of perfection & allow the remnants of the events to be as memorable as possible.
It’s a moment of deliverance as well.
For it has been some time since I last walked a whole complex on my own & I must admit, it really feels liberating as for once, I did not have to look left or right or ask if there’s anything else we may have left out. Not to say I don’t enjoy doing these, but just to strengthen the conviction that there is just enough company when you’re alone.
But then, barely half a movie into the 2-movie marathon, my thoughts were automatically transported away, bits by bits, pieces by pieces just as how the plot of the movie gets thicker.
And I end up not being able to stop myself from actually buying stuff for her instead of my earier intention to pamper myself through retail therapy.
It’s a moment of unlimited connectivity.
For the Batcave is finally broadband-ready, many thanks to Robyn who, in the first place; took the set of internet connection application form from the management office, sent an enquiry email to the service providing company for them to contact me, inspired me to finally fill out the form, waited with me while the bunch of installation contractors were doing their work at the Batcave, purchased a wifi router at an exceptionally good price & even assigned the very best IT Whiz-kid on the block to come over to the Batcave just moments before midnight to configure the wifi settings so that I could go online that night itself.
But I have had my doubts, for despite the "freedom of connection", I was worried that "physical time" would be lost.
And I had to ask the stupid question, if that would happen.
Of course, I wouldn’t say I know what sort of reply to expect or whether I liked what I heard, but somehow; I guess I should have known better that the answer would have been just that.
It’s also been a moment of reflection.
For out of my mom’s 5 brothers, 4 have had one form of experience with cardiovascular disease, the latest being our Uncle James who is now recuperating in ICU from a triple-bypass performed on him yesterday. His 2 younger brothers did not enjoy his fortune, they checked out when anybody could find out that they had such a problem.
But until we change the way we live or we manage to convince our mothers (who cook for us most of the time) that that extra spoonful of lard would only make our lives more miserable while only entertaining our tongues, we would only be blaming genetics.
And it may have been too late to do anything by then because there would not have been a point to achieve anything at that time as well.
Rest well, Uncle James. Get well soon.
We have many things to catch up on, because it’s been a while since we’ve last met.
Well, there you have it.
It really is simple to find out what would be considered important in my complicated mind.
Easy, isn’t it?
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