"Maybe...the brightest future will always be based on a forgotten past; after all, you can't go on successfully in life until you let go of your past mistakes, failures and heartaches..."
But do we get to choose what we let go or what we don’t?
If our minds come in partitions (like my laptop which just recently crashed, resulting in my “unplanned” spending of over 1K on a couple of hard disks, since they are new, I was advised to create Drives C &D), it would be easier for us to choose “Format” in the options given.
How often do we hear the phrase “To forgive & forget”?
Do we really forgive?
Can we really forget?
I personally feel that there is not a sin in this world nor a crime which can be committed that cannot be forgiven.
For I truly know that the ultimate salvation, forgiveness, punishment or reprisal should come from the Big Boss alone.
And since He gave us a sensory perceptional ability called “memory”, He either wants us to remember the things we’re set out to achieve in order to attain greater heights & be in His liking; or He wants us to remember the values which makes our lives meaningful so we will understand that He put us all here for a reason.
Whatever this “gift” is for, it has been sort of like a curse to me.
That is not to say I don’t forget things, I just happen to remember even the most painful of words, actions or deeds.
How nice if we can just delete certain things in our minds & just move on?
Wouldn’t it be great if we can just avoid a certain person in a situation hoping they too would forget?
Or would it seriously need a level of brain damage or injury to the head to induce amnesia to truly ever live happily ever after?
Maybe the biggest lesson I have learned over these past few days is to learn to let go.
Not everything, after all, I am convinced & I have been constantly reminded that certain people who would do anything to assist me in this troubled times, even sharing living space.
And then there is the Angel who would even give up parts of her life to see me in a different state of mind.
For this reason alone, I shall, in the words of the Angel: “Walk with pride and passion, and live as a new person!”
The reason is simple: Circumstance is such that a decision has had to be made. No matter how difficult it is to do so, it happens for a reason. And to go back against that decision would cause more hurt & pain.
If the Boss would have an ultimate reason for such a matter to take place, I am sure He will guide us through it.
For never would He give us something we can’t handle.
We may come out of it battered & bruised, but He will ensure we will still walk out of it alive.
That’s the word.
The least we could do is firstly, walk out.
I may not be looking forward to the brightest future, but I am willing to wait more than a few more 12 years for at least a happy one.
If there is still one.
Wednesday, July 1, 2009
Tuesday, June 30, 2009
FF's Book of Definitions
According to the Online Cambridge Dictionary:
dictionary
noun [C]
1 a book that contains a list of words in alphabetical order with their meanings explained or written in another language, or a similar product for use on a computer
2 a book which gives information about a particular subject, in which the entries are given in alphabetical order
I have my own book of definitions as well.
However, they’re more for phrases than single words.
Check this out.
Power-of-Dreams
(no, not the Jap-car manufacturer’s tagline per se):
Hoping that something happens, but knowing it wouldn’t unless something else does, then constant thought of it creates mental pictures in your mind with such clarity even during R.E.M. that it was so realistic in feeling & emotion.
Then, it happens.
Director’s Cut
(what was supposed to have been included into the movie):
When Catwoman pounces in uninvited on Batman & Robyn while they were in the middle of a private dinner in an open restaurant and goes: "Meowwww… can I have a bite?"
Pinnacle of Leadership
(or the sense of it, magnified by some virtues):
That when you speak, all listen & other conversations abruptly stop, even when others have taken the podium before & after you but were not able to draw the attention necessary to bring the message across. Where others have failed, you succeed.
Keeping Calm
(even when shit has hit the fan & you have every right to experience a nervous breakdown):
Still be able to lead a magnificent team to pull off a much anticipated, wonderfully crowded & highly successful event despite the fact that your chest feels tight, your head is throbbing, you’re stuck between the left & right and the counsellor was contacted by hostile forces so now she needs you to contemplate on temporary peace measures.
Soothing The Wrecked
(while all else look bleak):
A simple word uttered & the gentle understanding to reach out & offer a hand to hold on to with the intention to bring about peace, calm & serenity, without expectations & other unworldly desires, just the mere gesture of true care, sincere trust & unconditional love.
The Awakening
(not just physically & mentally awake):
A realisation of the fact that hits you right between the eyes with the revelation that "This is it. No more games.", after you have been confronted by your maternal source that certain quarters appear to be mis-using the privilege of being heard, thus manipulating the turn of events to their favour.
The "Tag-Along"
(could be used on a person, a thing or simply a state of mind):
The irritation that doesn’t seem to want to go away, a persistent sensation of being agitated by a certain source or the fact that someone doesn’t seem to understand or comprehend that there are places you may want to go by yourself & that could be the next best thing to signing your own parole.
Probing Delusional Act of Defiance
(also known as potentially a career-ending deed):
Is when you tell someone that you are going somewhere & they ask to be taken along (refer defined entry above), but you couldn’t because it doesn’t justify the nature of the visit, then in defiance & in an attempt to embed more contempt, call up the place to check if you’re there. Best thing is: you’re really not, but you had to "unintentionally" give the name of the place due to the fact that the truth can neither be accepted nor revealed.
Birthday Present
(to give or to take?):
A 28" Luggage Bag which you purchase after dinner with the strong-willed determination to pack every single piece of belonging & get the heck away from Alcatraz, because the parole offer may end anytime soon, minds may change, plumbing may burst, temperatures may rise & the hope of ever seeing the sun from this side of the globe diminishes by the day. Just remember to bring along the passport in case the country doesn’t deserve this citizen with a strong & inerasable memory anymore.
Scripted Playwright
(when you know that she knows that you know):
Masquerade of words, dances of calculated moves, deliberate steps taken in anticipation of the next. At least till the line on the horizon broadens, no guards will be lowered & there really isn’t any ways to tell if the stalking would end.
Deadline: July.
Dead end? You bet.
A penny for your thoughts?
dictionary
noun [C]
1 a book that contains a list of words in alphabetical order with their meanings explained or written in another language, or a similar product for use on a computer
2 a book which gives information about a particular subject, in which the entries are given in alphabetical order
I have my own book of definitions as well.
However, they’re more for phrases than single words.
Check this out.
Power-of-Dreams
(no, not the Jap-car manufacturer’s tagline per se):
Hoping that something happens, but knowing it wouldn’t unless something else does, then constant thought of it creates mental pictures in your mind with such clarity even during R.E.M. that it was so realistic in feeling & emotion.
Then, it happens.
Director’s Cut
(what was supposed to have been included into the movie):
When Catwoman pounces in uninvited on Batman & Robyn while they were in the middle of a private dinner in an open restaurant and goes: "Meowwww… can I have a bite?"
Pinnacle of Leadership
(or the sense of it, magnified by some virtues):
That when you speak, all listen & other conversations abruptly stop, even when others have taken the podium before & after you but were not able to draw the attention necessary to bring the message across. Where others have failed, you succeed.
Keeping Calm
(even when shit has hit the fan & you have every right to experience a nervous breakdown):
Still be able to lead a magnificent team to pull off a much anticipated, wonderfully crowded & highly successful event despite the fact that your chest feels tight, your head is throbbing, you’re stuck between the left & right and the counsellor was contacted by hostile forces so now she needs you to contemplate on temporary peace measures.
Soothing The Wrecked
(while all else look bleak):
A simple word uttered & the gentle understanding to reach out & offer a hand to hold on to with the intention to bring about peace, calm & serenity, without expectations & other unworldly desires, just the mere gesture of true care, sincere trust & unconditional love.
The Awakening
(not just physically & mentally awake):
A realisation of the fact that hits you right between the eyes with the revelation that "This is it. No more games.", after you have been confronted by your maternal source that certain quarters appear to be mis-using the privilege of being heard, thus manipulating the turn of events to their favour.
The "Tag-Along"
(could be used on a person, a thing or simply a state of mind):
The irritation that doesn’t seem to want to go away, a persistent sensation of being agitated by a certain source or the fact that someone doesn’t seem to understand or comprehend that there are places you may want to go by yourself & that could be the next best thing to signing your own parole.
Probing Delusional Act of Defiance
(also known as potentially a career-ending deed):
Is when you tell someone that you are going somewhere & they ask to be taken along (refer defined entry above), but you couldn’t because it doesn’t justify the nature of the visit, then in defiance & in an attempt to embed more contempt, call up the place to check if you’re there. Best thing is: you’re really not, but you had to "unintentionally" give the name of the place due to the fact that the truth can neither be accepted nor revealed.
Birthday Present
(to give or to take?):
A 28" Luggage Bag which you purchase after dinner with the strong-willed determination to pack every single piece of belonging & get the heck away from Alcatraz, because the parole offer may end anytime soon, minds may change, plumbing may burst, temperatures may rise & the hope of ever seeing the sun from this side of the globe diminishes by the day. Just remember to bring along the passport in case the country doesn’t deserve this citizen with a strong & inerasable memory anymore.
Scripted Playwright
(when you know that she knows that you know):
Masquerade of words, dances of calculated moves, deliberate steps taken in anticipation of the next. At least till the line on the horizon broadens, no guards will be lowered & there really isn’t any ways to tell if the stalking would end.
Deadline: July.
Dead end? You bet.
A penny for your thoughts?
Saturday, June 27, 2009
Theodor Seuss Geisel (March 2, 1904 – September 24, 1991)
"Be Who You Are & Say What You Feel; 'coz Those Who Mind Don't Matter & Those Who Matter Don't Mind"
- Dr Seuss
In living memory of this great writer, cartoonist & animator, I dedicate this entry.
For the straight-forwardness of the quote above is as direct as it gets & as elusive as ever.
On May 13th 2009, I posted the above as a status update in my Facebook.
And no, it’s not because I am out of ideas that I am repeating myself, I just felt I did not do enough justice to this very meaningful saying.
Just how meaningful, that, we would have to find out.
Because in life, we cannot go on worrying about what others would think or say about us.
As the saying which I hold true: "I can’t control how I am perceived, but I can control how I am presented".
How much allowance is there to be true to yourself, remains a mystery for most of us out there.
For we are all born with a value; what some would know as "conscience".
I call it my mask.
We are restricted by this very value that brings us self-worth.
Knowingly or unknowingly, we are constantly reminded to "go with the flow", "when in Rome, do as the Romans", etc... for the sake of conformity.
W.T.F.?
While, of course, it is almost a pre-requisite in the factual world that we do not necessarily put ourselves "against the grain" most of the time, but does it mean we will have to banish the thought of freedom-of-expression, freedom from oppression & to be honest & true at least to the person who you are building your life to: Yourself?!
I can’t help but envy those who have this luxury.
The very idea that I can live the life I want, to be myself, say what I think & how I feel & be with the person I would want to spend the rest of my life with is so alien to me that I would probably need to unlearn a lot of things in order to finally grasp the possibility of this ever happening.
Maybe if I learn how to let go of my ego & not worry about how others would judge me, I may be able to at least loosen up a little.
(This is not to say I would just blindly go & do the unthinkable!)
Maybe the only way is to make more time for the people who matter, and truly be in the position to be who I really am, even for that short but enjoyable moment.
Maybe I should really get away from those who don’t matter, since they mind so much what I do, where I am, what I say or the way I present myself.
Because, at the end of the day, it’s not only about how many lives you have managed to touch with your sincerity; it is also whether you have been truly sincere to yourself.
Enjoy your weekend.
Because for once, I know I will.
- Dr Seuss
In living memory of this great writer, cartoonist & animator, I dedicate this entry.
For the straight-forwardness of the quote above is as direct as it gets & as elusive as ever.
On May 13th 2009, I posted the above as a status update in my Facebook.
And no, it’s not because I am out of ideas that I am repeating myself, I just felt I did not do enough justice to this very meaningful saying.
Just how meaningful, that, we would have to find out.
Because in life, we cannot go on worrying about what others would think or say about us.
As the saying which I hold true: "I can’t control how I am perceived, but I can control how I am presented".
How much allowance is there to be true to yourself, remains a mystery for most of us out there.
For we are all born with a value; what some would know as "conscience".
I call it my mask.
We are restricted by this very value that brings us self-worth.
Knowingly or unknowingly, we are constantly reminded to "go with the flow", "when in Rome, do as the Romans", etc... for the sake of conformity.
W.T.F.?
While, of course, it is almost a pre-requisite in the factual world that we do not necessarily put ourselves "against the grain" most of the time, but does it mean we will have to banish the thought of freedom-of-expression, freedom from oppression & to be honest & true at least to the person who you are building your life to: Yourself?!
I can’t help but envy those who have this luxury.
The very idea that I can live the life I want, to be myself, say what I think & how I feel & be with the person I would want to spend the rest of my life with is so alien to me that I would probably need to unlearn a lot of things in order to finally grasp the possibility of this ever happening.
Maybe if I learn how to let go of my ego & not worry about how others would judge me, I may be able to at least loosen up a little.
(This is not to say I would just blindly go & do the unthinkable!)
Maybe the only way is to make more time for the people who matter, and truly be in the position to be who I really am, even for that short but enjoyable moment.
Maybe I should really get away from those who don’t matter, since they mind so much what I do, where I am, what I say or the way I present myself.
Because, at the end of the day, it’s not only about how many lives you have managed to touch with your sincerity; it is also whether you have been truly sincere to yourself.
Enjoy your weekend.
Because for once, I know I will.
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